For Appearances Sake
by Midnight Raptor
Summary: Right now, it's just them and they're not doing this because they have to but because they want to and because they've already screwed up too much to let this moment go. Set during 2x11. Sam/Andy. One-shot. Complete.


A/N: So…I really shouldn't have written this. I'm currently under the biggest crapload of work known to mankind so I should be focusing on that. But after that RIDICULOUSLY AMAZING scene we had in the last ep, I couldn't help myself. This idea had been sitting in my head ever since I saw the promo for 2x11 and I finally gave in now. I wrote this without really thinking about it (which I never do under normal circumstances) so it's not quite up to my standards but it is what it is. So here it is. Enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure the creators and owners of Rookie Blue don't sit around and write fan fiction. Therefore, I'm not one of them.

_For Appearances Sake_

When their eyes first meet, a quiet surge of panic sweeps through them, one that takes all their training to not let show on their faces. Of course, he has more experience so he fares far better than her, a cocky grin on his lips, while she's left to rearrange her features into a look that she hopes resembles something close to surprised indifference, like a part of her can't quite believe that the light-haired stranger's partner is that good-looking.

This is dangerous. They both know it. One wrong move, one slipped word and they'll be so deep in shit they won't even know what hit them. So they tread carefully. Polite small talk as they play their game. Stolen glances from across the table. Hers are, at least. Because this is all an act and they play their parts well. So she throws quick looks his way like maybe taking on two obviously seasoned pool players is something she's regretting with each passing second. His, on the other hand, are long, slightly amused stares, giving him the air of someone who enjoys robbing suitcase-less insurance reps of their money in a harmless game of pool.

She bows out a moment later once he's put away the 8 ball with one, smug stroke and heads for the bar. They're still on assignment and she tells herself that she's only getting a drink so she can scope out any potential dealers but it's an obvious lie especially when he sidles up to her and slides a bill across the counter to cover her drink. They take a seat at a nearby table, making sure to keep their partners close by, although by this point it's getting pretty hard to remember the fact that they even have partners counting on them to have their backs.

They talk about nothing and everything all at once, their eyes and loaded exchanges saying what they can't exactly say out loud. Because she can't tell him that she misses him or that she's finally figured out what her heart's been screaming at her for the past year and he can't tell her that he wishes everyday that he never left, not knowing if he'd ever see her again. So instead she tells him that her job gets a little lonely, fixing him with a heated stare, and he tells her that he wonders why he even got into this business in the first place.

To anyone looking in, they wouldn't think anything of it. Just another hookup. No feelings, no commitments. Just them and tonight and whatever that can bring. But the attraction is there so they play into it, telling themselves it's all for show even though they know it's anything but. They flirt and laugh and he flashes those damning dimples like he'll never get another chance to do so again which he knows isn't all that impossible all things considered.

But they both have a job to do and when their respective partners finish their game, they know they can't keep this up. So she walks away and for that moment, he can't figure out if he's Sam or J.D. as he watches her disappear, not allowing her to leave his sight until he has to.

He's still trying to forget her, at least for the night so he can get his head on straight and do his job, when she comes up next to him, her steps slow and hesitant. Again, the sickening taste of panic rises up inside him. She shouldn't be back here, not now and definitely not alone and his mind starts flashing through all sorts of excuses to sell to Brennan if he even gets the slightest feeling that she's in trouble. But she just smiles coyly at him, suddenly emboldened by the knowledge that this is the only chance they'll have at addressing everything that's gone unsaid for so long, and offers him a proposition, one that makes his mouth run dry and his eyes widen just so. He's tempted, goddamn is he tempted and he's never wanted anything more in his life that he actually aches when those words leave her mouth.

But then he remembers where he is and what he's doing and the reality of everything hits him like a brick wall. So he lets her down easy, citing reasons he really wishes weren't reasons, and watches as her hopeful expression slips from her face. Her heart starts to break, she can't help herself, even though she knows that right now they're just playing parts and keeping appearances. They know it's for the best, that having her just walk away would keep them both out of trouble, but it still hurts more than they can describe to tear their eyes away from the each other especially when they've come this far.

Their exchange doesn't go unnoticed, however, and the next thing he knows Brennan's all but pushing him out the door to follow her and he sends up a silent thank you for the opportunity to spend a little more time with her.

He catches up to her outside in the cold, Toronto night, smiling as the hurt on her face quickly morphs into surprise when he turns her around to face him. Her hand finds his and she doesn't say anything more as he leads her around to the front of the hotel to wait for the cab he called just a minute ago.

They stand in companionable silence and he loosens his grip on her hand just enough to trace feather-light patterns on her palm with his fingers, causing her to lean into him ever-so-slightly. They climb into the cab when it arrives, grateful to escape the cold and the watchful eyes of the patrons of the bar. But they're still not out of the woods, knowing that cabbies were privy to all sorts of talk on the streets so they keep up their act, him as J.D., her as Candice, just two people who've never met before tonight and after tonight won't ever meet again.

She rests her hand lightly on his thigh, hardly daring to breathe, her blood pounding in her ears, not knowing that beside her, he's going through the exact same thing. They come to a stop in front of a decent-looking walk-up a few blocks away and once again step out into the night, wary of the cabbie's bored gaze on their backs. He leads her up the stairs in silence, not wanting to risk being overheard by any of his neighbors who could all just happen to let something slip to his new boss.

He whispers a hushed command in her ear when they reach his door and she obeys, waiting outside while he lets himself in and quickly flicks off the camera switch hidden in a loose floorboard under the chair by the entrance. Seeing this, she steps inside and he closes the door behind her, the soft click of the lock echoing through the spacious room.

Just like that, the façade falls apart, not that there was much of a façade to keep up in the first place. They're not pretending anymore and they both know that there's only so much longer they can keep this moment going. Because right now they're back to being Sam and Andy and there isn't anyone left to fool so keeping this up for appearances sake isn't a valid excuse anymore.

She hands him her coat and they lock eyes for a moment, knowing that there's still so much they want to say, need to say. For the briefest of moments, he simply takes her in, committing her every feature to memory, before saying the last words he wants to be coming out of his mouth. But she just turns away, walking further into his apartment and closer to the line they've been flirting with for so long. She doesn't quite know where her confidence is coming from as her fingers star to undo the last two buttons of her shirt and if the heavy look on his face is any indication, neither does he.

He follows her to the table, watching as she lifts herself to sit on its surface, that small, maddening smile playing on her lips. He steps close, right into her space, like he's trying to see if she'll start running again. Only she doesn't; if anything, she's scooting even closer to him.

He gives her one last chance to walk away, to leave before neither one of them can bring themselves to do so anymore. Because this time there won't be any "disregards" or "It was what it was." and he wants her to be sure this is what she wants. Normally, this would scare her, send her bolting in the other direction so fast she wouldn't even have time to think about it. But she sits there, staring up into his soft, dark eyes, wanting to give him everything she has, and she's never been more sure of anything in her life.

And then he's leaning in, one hand snaking around her waist while the other reaches up to cup her face. Her eyes flutter shut and she can feel his warm breath on her skin, his lips hovering just hairs away before finally coming down upon hers in the lightest kiss she's ever felt. It's slow and gentle with each of them trying to say everything they've been wanting to say for so long in that one simple moment.

Then she feels him pulling away and for a second, she panics at the thought that he's starting to reconsider. But when she opens her eyes, his shirt is gone, flung away to parts unknown, and he's stroking her face like she's made of glass. His mouth begins to trace a fiery path down her neck and across the planes of her cheeks, causing her to gasp at the contact, before coming back to briefly capture her own.

He stops showering her with kisses for a moment, almost asking her permission to continue. She meets his gaze, the look in her shining, hazel eyes telling him in no uncertain terms exactly what she wants. And as he undoes the last few buttons of her shirt and lifts her into his arms, effectively tossing every rule against this out the window, they know that there would be no going back for either of them.

So they'll forget just for this moment about their stupidity, about blowing his cover and risking their lives, and finally give in to what they've both wanted since the beginning. Because now they're not trying to be someone else or sell their story. They don't have an audience to fool or appearances to keep.

Right now, it's just them and they're not doing this because they have to but because they want to and because they've already screwed up too much to let this moment go.

* * *

><p>AN: And there you have it. Not my best work and it didn't come out exactly how I wanted it to (I had a major problem maintaining the POV I originally wanted this to be in) but c'est la vie. Anyways, please tell me what you think if you'd be so kind. And here's to hoping that the finale won't end too badly for our rather dysfunctional pair. XD Cheers!


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